BIG IMPACT INITIATIVE AWARD:
rewe group dito
This year, REWE Group DITO received the award in the BIG IMPACT INITIATIVE category. Together with its network mentor and CEO Lionel Souque, the network initiated and internally implemented a comprehensive online training course on the topic of “Queer Diversity”. Among other things, the focus was on dealing with gender identity and sexual orientation in the workplace. The training is available in the learning catalog for all employees for an indefinite period of time and is therefore firmly anchored in the Group for the long term. In addition to queer diversity and inclusion, further training courses on other dimensions of diversity are planned for the future.
RISING STAR AWARD:
proud – novelis
The PROUD network from Novelis will receive the RISING STAR award this year. The network was founded in Europe in 2022 and has been supported by 15 allies in the European plants since last year. In addition to initial events, such as participation in three Pride events in 2023, the network has started to take targeted action at Novelis plants in its second year. The network in Europe has inspired and motivated the regions of North and South America to also establish an LGBT*IQ network. PROUD in Europe is organized by a core team of four people and supported by the sponsor – the Vice President HR of Novelis Europe.
GLOBAL LEADER NETWORK AWARD:
equal at mckinsey
The GLOBAL LEADER NETWORK award is presented to the Equal at McKinsey network, which celebrates its 30th anniversary next year and has grown significantly in recent years. There are more than 14,000 Inclusion Allies worldwide who are committed to promoting queer issues within the company. McKinsey has a global strategy to actively promote the network in all offices around the world. The company has queer leaders in offices around the world, including China, Chile, France, Germany, Poland, Singapore, the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, the Netherlands and South Africa. They act as role models in the company and play their part in increasing the visibility of queer people and content in the company.
sustainability AWARD:
arco by commerzbank
ARCO, Commerzbank’s Pride network, receives the SUSTAINABILITY Award from the PROUT AT WORK Foundation. For over 20 years, the employee network has been committed to breaking down prejudices and promoting mutual acceptance at all levels within the company. With regular events and publications, ARCO raises awareness of queer issues and creates a working environment in which all employees can be who they are. An Executive Ally program involves managers in all segments as supporters of queer people. The Executive Board has also supported the network, which is being continuously expanded, since it was founded in 2002. This gives ARCO a pioneering role for queer employee networks in Germany.
special award:
#outinchurch e.V.
This year’s special award goes to #OutInChurch e.V. The campaign – initiated by full-time, voluntary, potential and former employees of the Roman Catholic Church – was launched in January 2022 and is still helping to make queer people visible in the church and give their concerns a voice. The strategic goal of #OutInChurch was to expose abuses in the Catholic Church and to initiate necessary reforms that would make the Catholic Church a place free of discrimination. A secondary condition for this was the protection of the individual by creating publicity. This was successful: due to the relatively high number of participants, there have been no consequences under employment law to date. Catholic employment law was amended in the fall of 2022 so that a queer identity and a queer relationship are no longer grounds for dismissal. Public pressure on the Catholic Church, which was already high for many other reasons, was increased once again and implicitly called on its representatives to take a stand.
Sander van’t Noordende
“SENIOR LEADERS AND CEOS IN PARTICULAR MUST STAND UP AND SHOW THEIR SUPPORT, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE FOCUS OF THE COMPANY AND ACT AS ROLE MODELS.”
Queer equal opportunities will continue to be an important topic in 2024 – especially in times when we are seeing an increase in queer-hostile activities. It is important for individuals, who are thus gaining more and more freedom to live their authentic selves in the workplace, and just as important for companies that offer their employees an appreciative environment.
Albert Kehrer, CEO of PROUT AT WORK, also emphasized in his opening speech why queer diversity in the workplace is so important: “Queer diversity is considered an indicator of an open and inclusive corporate culture.”
At the PROUT AT WORK Foundation’s 7th DINNER BEYOND BUSINESS, the focus was on the commitment of companies and managers to queer employees: “In times when hatred, hate speech and crime against queer people are on the rise again, IKEA is standing up as an ally and strong supporter. We have a zero-tolerance policy for attacks on queer people inside and outside the company. I am pleased and proud that many people from the queer community find their professional home at IKEA,” says Walter Kadnar, Country Retail Manager & CSO IKEA Germany. The invitation to DINNER BEYOND BUSINESS 2024 was accepted by over 50 senior executives from major companies and institutions, including representatives from Accenture, Boehringer Ingelheim, Commerzbank, congstar, Disney, Ergo, Infineon, KPMG, Novelis, Oracle, OTTO, PwC and Siemens. The participants of the top-class networking event enjoyed an exclusive dinner at the IKEA headquarters in Hofheim am Taunus. Albert Kehrer explained the background to DINNER BEYOND BUSINESS in his welcoming speech: “Behind a manager there is always a personal story that has an impact on performance in the workplace. That’s why we invited people to DINNER BEYOND BUSINESS 2024 to find out more about the queer side of business. Supporting queer people in the workplace is much more than just supporting a marginalized group.” The highlight of the evening was the Fireside Chat by Albert Kehrer together with Sander van’t Noordende, CEO of Randstad, about role models, coming out at work and allyship.
“For us at Randstad, our ultimate goal is for everyone to feel comfortable at work.”
Sander van’t Noordende has been Chief Executive Officer and Chairman of the Board at Randstad since March 2022 and is one of the only openly gay CEOs among the Fortune 500. Sander spent most of his career at Accenture, where he held a number of leadership positions. During his successful three decades at Accenture, he served as Group Chief Executive of the Products Operating Group. Sander advocates for the importance of DEI&B in the workplace at international events, including at the World Economic Forum in Davos with discussions on inclusion and the rights of queer people.
“All employees should have the same opportunities – but that also means that we have to organize our processes and those of our customers accordingly.”
At the beginning of the Fireside Chat, Sander van’t Noordende shared some private insights as an out executive: “I come from a very diverse family: I have two gay uncles and two lesbian aunts, which has always been the most normal thing in the world for me. But a diverse family doesn’t automatically mean it’s easy to come out as gay.” His role model has always been his gay uncle, who showed him that you can also be successful at work as a gay man. “For us at Randstad, our ultimate goal is for everyone to feel comfortable at work. All employees should have the same opportunities – but that also means that we have to organize our processes and those of our customers accordingly.” He is also convinced that companies need to position themselves on certain issues: “Senior leaders and CEOs in particular need to stand up and show their support, because they are the focus of the company and act as role models.”
recording of the talk with sander van’t noordende
PROUT EMPLOYER BCG PLATINION
„By embracing diversity, we not only enrich our organizational culture but also drive innovation and creativity.“
Matthias Burghardt is an Associate Director at BCG Platinion and supports financial service providers in Central Europe with digital transformations. He studied Information Engineering and Management in Karlsruhe and earned a PhD in Business. Matthias heads the DE&I (Diversity, Equity & Inclusion) activities at BCG Platinion in Central Europe as well as the LGBTQ+ network Pride @ BCG Platinion in EMESA where all activities of the Pride members and allies are coordinated.
You were immediately willing to do a joint interview –
thank you again! Why is it a matter close to your heart or a
concern for you to support queer people in the workplace?
Matthias Burghardt: Supporting queer people in the workplace is crucial for me because it fosters a truly inclusive and respectful environment where every individual can thrive. By embracing diversity, we not only enrich our organizational culture but also drive innovation and creativity. It reflects a commitment to equality and human rights, ensuring that everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, has equal opportunities to succeed and contribute to our collective success.
Which initiatives regarding equal opportunities for queer
people in the workplace are you pursuing within your company?
Matthias Burghardt: We are committed to fostering equal opportunities for queer employees through a multifaceted approach. We are building a diverse workforce by actively recruiting from a wide range of backgrounds and promoting an inclusive environment where everyone can bring one’s true self to work. Our initiatives are centered around our close-knit Pride members and allies, creating a “secret sauce” where everyone finds community. We are also enhancing our external communications to reflect our commitment to LGBTQ+ inclusivity.
Which role do allies play in your organization and
how do you engage them in your LGBTQ+ initiatives?
Matthias Burghardt: Allies are incredibly important for the acceptance and inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals. Especially allies who actively and strongly advocate for queer issues are essential for LGBTQ+ people to feel fully accepted at work. We understand the importance of an inclusive atmosphere among employees, achievable only by integrating the issue into our company culture. Allyship is more than just changing the company flag on LinkedIn or hosting an annual fair. Allies are an integral part of our Pride Community.
What motivated BCG Platinion to become a PROUT EMPLOYER
and what would you like to see in our cooperation?
Matthias Burghardt: Our motivation to become a PROUT EMPLOYER stems from a deep commitment to fostering an inclusive workplace that celebrates diversity and supports the LGBTQ+ community. We aim to lead by example, promoting equality and understanding. In our cooperation, we aspire to share best practices, innovate in diversity initiatives, and create a broader impact through community engagement, advocacy, and awareness programs. Together, we can build a more inclusive world where everyone is empowered to succeed.
What advice would you give to other companies
that have not yet discovered queer diversity for themselves?
Matthias Burghardt: Embrace queer diversity as an asset. It enriches your company culture, drives innovation, and appeals to a broader customer base. Start by creating a safe, inclusive environment where all voices are heard and valued. Invest in diversity training, support LGBTQ+ employee networks, and commit to equitable policies. Learning from and partnering with organizations like PROUT AT WORK can accelerate your journey. Diversity isn’t just right; it’s smart business. Don’t get left behind.
Dear Matthias Burghardt, thank you very much for the interview!
PROUT EMPLOYER Sanofi
“As a sponsor of the network, the queer community is particularly close to my heart. Neither at Sanofi nor in the rest of society can we do without diversity and talent of any sexual orientation, religion, age or origin.”
Dr. Theresa von Fugler is a biochemist, “doer” and family person. As an executive with global experience in the branded goods industry, she has been Managing Director at Sanofi Consumer Healthcare in Germany since September 2021. She is responsible for the area of over-the-counter medicines from pharmacies. This includes brands for the treatment of headaches, coughs, abdominal pain, constipation and allergies. She is a sponsor of the internal LGBT*IQ network in Germany and is particularly committed to diversity in the workplace. In her private life, Theresa is active in sports and finds variety in beekeeping.
Sanofi’s global diversity strategy is called “all in”.
What does this slogan mean to you?
Dr. Theresa von Fugler: As the name suggests, for me “all in” is a positive term for the fact that people of every dimension of diversity can develop here. Sanofi’s employees in Germany are a reflection of society – people of different backgrounds, experiences, attitudes and skin colors work here. We want to be as diverse as the patients we serve.
The equal opportunities development of all employees is part of our corporate culture and a strategic success factor. Inclusion is not a minority program. We want a working environment in which everyone feels valued and supported without any form of discrimination.
Which initiative or action on equal opportunities for
queer people at Sanofi that particularly impressed you?
Dr. Theresa von Fugler: I was fascinated by the Sanofi truck at Christopher Street Day 2023. The passion and joy with which our team took part in the CSD inspired many people to be there too. Showing our colors on this day was a clear commitment to LGBT*IQ and “all in”. Miraculously, our LGBT*IQ network has since grown to include more members. For me, this is an important message – because diversity should have a positive connotation. It’s not for nothing that an expressive and colorful symbol – the rainbow – stands for the LGBT*IQ community worldwide.
In your opinion, what are the big issues and
challenges regarding queer diversity in the
coming years?
Dr. Theresa von Fugler: The area of tension associated with LGBT*IQ diversity is particularly challenging. This affects Sanofi just as much as society as a whole. On the one hand, it is important to encourage people to embrace their uniqueness, which above all requires acceptance and a matter of course. On the other hand, there are people who are bothered by measures to strengthen LGBT*IQ diversity – regardless of whether they come into direct or indirect contact with them. This reinforces the social tension.
What motivated Sanofi to become a PROUT EMPLOYER
and what would you like to see in our cooperation?
Dr. Theresa von Fugler: When we founded our internal LGBT*IQ network “PRIDE+ DE”, it was clear to us right from the start that we wanted to bring in external support and expertise. The aim at the start was to further develop the quality of the network’s work and growth. Every network has a learning curve right from the start. With a strong partner, we wanted to avoid initial mistakes and act strategically. It is also good to network across company boundaries in order to learn from each other and strengthen each other in our day-to-day work.
What advice would you give to other companies
who have not yet discovered queer diversity for themselves?
Dr. Theresa von Fugler: As a sponsor of the network, the LGBT*IQ community is particularly close to my heart. Neither at Sanofi nor in the rest of society can we do without diversity and talent of any sexual orientation, religion, age or origin. But only when opportunities are fairly distributed can talents develop their full potential. Diverse groups help to break down barriers in people’s minds and obstacles in everyday working life.
One thing is certain for me: surrounding ourselves with diverse and different people helps us all move forward, I’m sure of that.
Dear Dr. Theresa von Fugler, thank you very much
for the interview!
PROUT EMPLOYER Infineon Technologies AG
“I am striving to live and promote the value of diversity in my direct area of responsibility, but do not shy away from supporting beyond that.”
Raphael joined Infineon in May 2016 as a Senior Expert for Ethical Hacking and Incident Management. Before joining Infineon, he worked as a Security Consultant for various national and international companies. In 2017 Raphael took over his first management role at Infineon setting up the Cyber Defense Center as a global team. In 2020 he then took over as Head of the Cyber Security team – in June 2023 the role has been extended to cover all security topics as Head of the newly merged Cyber & Corporate Security teams. Raphael was always part of multinational teams and companies which he enjoyed a lot.
Raphael graduated from University of Tübingen in 2013, where he studied Computer Science. He is married and has two children, lives in Munich but was born in Baden-Wuerttemberg. Fun Fact: His swabian is as bad as his “Hochdeutsch” ;).
You were immediately ready for an interview
– thank you again for that!
Why is it important for you to support queer topics?
Raphael Otto: Diversity in all dimensions; gender, nationality, physical / mental ability or sexual orientation, just to name a few, is very close to my heart. I believe that as a society we benefit from different perspectives. I also believe that as an employer we have a responsibility when it comes to living and promoting our values. I am striving to live and promote the value of diversity in my direct area of responsibility, but do not shy away from supporting beyond that. So, when I was asked if I would be available as a sponsor to our LGBT* & Friends Community, I felt very honored and agreed immediately.
What initiative related to equal opportunities
for queer people was successful at Infineon?
Raphael Otto: In June, during Pride Month, Infineon participated in several pride parades (e.g. Munich) to show support and raise awareness for the LGBTQIA+ community, their history, culture and ongoing work for equal opportunities. The very positive feedback we received from our employees and external stakeholders has shown that our commitment is well received and motivates us to continue with our support for LGBTQIA+.
What are your wishes and goals in your role as sponsor
for the Infineon LGBT* & Friends community?
Raphael Otto: While the LGBT* & Friends Community already achieved a lot, we are still in the beginning of a journey here at Infineon. My wish is to support the community by providing advice, visibility and hands-on support during various activities and events. In particular I want to support the colleagues when addressing LGBTQIA+ inclusion globally. As we are a globally operating company, we face the reality of different levels of awareness and acceptance of LGBTQIA+ issues which can be challenging for our internal community. I hope I can help with that and advocate for them.
How do you react when people question
the importance of queer inclusion?
Raphael Otto: As for every dimension of diversity and inclusion I am typically trying to listen to the argumentation behind the reservation first. I will challenge the arguments highlighting the importance of diversity for successful teams and the need for all humans to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance in society and of course in the workplace. I make clear that everyone wants to be accepted as they are and that this is a human right which should not be questioned.
What motivated Infineon to become a PROUT EMPLOYER
and what would Infineon like to see in this cooperation?
Raphael Otto: At Infineon, we want to offer a workplace where everyone is accepted, feels a sense of belonging and can bring their authentic self to work. Participating in the PROUT EMPLOYER Program is a great chance for us to express our commitment to Diversity & Inclusion and to further increase our knowledge about how to support Infineon’s LGBTQIA+ members as a PROUT EMPLOYER. We are very happy about the cooperation with PROUT AT WORK, which will accompany us with their expertise to create the best Infineon for people of any sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
Dear Raphael Otto,
thank you for the interview!
Show Your true colors!
Das Interview mit Duke wurde für den PRIDE DAY GERMANY 2024 geführt.
Wie setzt Ihr Euch dafür ein, dass alle Menschen, unabhängig von sexueller Orientierung oder geschlechtlichen Identität, an Eurem Arbeitsplatz ein Gefühl der Zugehörigkeit erfahren?
Am 04. Juli feiern wir den PRIDE DAY GERMANY. Der Aktionszeitraum ist jedoch länger geöffnet! Noch bis zum 25. Juli könnt Ihr Eure Aktivitäten für Queer Diversity einreichen und habt damit die Chance zum PRIDE DAY CONTEST Publikumsliebling zu werden! Im sechswöchigen Aktionszeitraum zeigen wir jährlich Eure Firmenaktionen für Queer Diversity auf unserer Website und Eure Kommunikation auf unserer Social Media Wall. Im anschließenden
PRIDE DAY CONTEST führen wir ein Publikumsvoting durch und küren die drei Aktionen mit den meisten Stimmen zu Publikumslieblingen!
MYSTORY mit …
duke
28 Jahre, hamburg
„manchmal frage ich mich, ob ich nicht zu ‘langweilig’ für
jemand queeres bin.”
Veröffentlicht: November 2023
Ich bin Duke, eigentlich sogar Aaron Duke, aber alle kennen mich als Duke. Der Name Aaron kommt von meinen Eltern. Da ich ein trans* Mann bin, durfte ich meine Vornamen neu auswählen und mir war es wichtig, dass mir meine Eltern wieder meinen ersten Namen geben. Ich bin 28, in Deutschland geboren und habe chinesische Wurzeln.
Meine Pubertät war gefüllt mit Schmerz, Unwissenheit und Trauer.
Ich wusste sehr lange nicht, was mit mir war. Ich war immer anders und gehörte zu den Leuten, die alles versucht haben, um dazuzugehören. Mit 14 habe ich dann beschlossen, meine Haare abzuschneiden, mir Kleidung aus der Jungs-Abteilung zu kaufen und endlich mehr Ich zu sein. Doch auch das war echt schwierig. Ich erkannte, dass ich ein Mann bin, doch fragte mich, was denn einen Mann ausmacht und wie Männer sein sollen?
Ich verlor mich in einer Welle der toxischen Männlichkeit. Wollte stark sein, wollte groß sein, wollte Mann sein. Bin ich jetzt ein Mann? Menschen misgenderten mich, haben nicht verstanden, was ich darstellen wollte, verurteilten und belächelten mich – ich wollte doch nur ein Mann sein.
Ein Mann weint nicht, ein Mann ist nicht schwach, ein Mann schminkt sich nicht. Ich hatte viele Momente vor meiner Transition, in denen ich versucht habe, mich zu schminken. Der Gedanke, Schminke oder Nagellack zu tragen, verflog immer mehr mit meiner Transition. Ich bin nun ein Mann und alle sehen es auch so. Doch dürfen sich nur Frauen schminken? Dürfen nur Frauen bunte und glitzernde Dinge tragen? Ich muss ehrlich sein, ich fühle mich in meinen unscheinbaren, meist dunklen Klamotten schon wohler. Ich würde mich in einem Kleid oder mit ausgefallenem Lidschatten wahrscheinlich nicht wohl fühlen. Aber warum nicht? Warum dürfen nur Frauen das? Warum fühle ich mich damit unwohl? Weil Männer das nun mal nicht tun? Weil uns Männern das immer abgesprochen wird? Weil wir belächelt werden? Weil wir dann verrückt und unseriös sind?
Und das Paradoxe kommt jetzt: Manchmal frage ich mich, ob ich nicht zu „langweilig“ für jemand Queeres bin.
Ich bin 28. Seit sechs Jahren auf Testosteron. Vor vier Jahren Brust- und Gebärmutterentfernung. Seit einigen Jahren in meinem Ich angekommen. Und doch ist meine Selbstfindung noch nicht beendet.
Lieber duke, vielen Dank für YourStory!
PRIDE DAY GERMANY 2024 & PRIDE DAY CONTEST
Hier geht’s zu allen Infos und zur Anmeldung.
BIG IMPACT INITIATIVE AWARD:
UNITE von Covestro
Some business areas are reached more by LGBT*IQ business networks, others have hardly any points of contact with them. To date, there have been few best-practice examples of LGBT*IQ awareness-raising work in production companies. UNITE, the LGBT*IQ network of Covestro Deutschland AG, has raised awareness of LGBT*IQ in production. The response was consistently positive, so further events are planned in various areas and at different locations. This makes UNITE a true pioneer, as there have been no best practice examples from other production companies to date.
RISING STAR AWARD:
bunt/lb von nord/lb
Despite being founded at the beginning of last year, this network has already planned and carried out a large number of creative activities. BUNT/LB stands for acceptance and understanding at all levels of coexistence. In addition to representatives of the LGBT*IQ community, Allys are also committed to the interests of the network as members of the foundation; the chairwoman also acts as a patron.
On this year’s Diversity Day, BUNT/LB called on all employees to paint white rubber ducks in bright colors. The more than 200 creatively designed ducklings from various locations then went swimming together in the company pond. This creative idea was the deciding factor in choosing BUNT/LB.
GLOBAL LEADER NETWORK AWARD:
shine von pwc
This network has not only been advocating for the LGBT*IQ community for ten years, but is also active in over 30 countries worldwide. In 2023, Shine introduced its first Global LGBT*IQ Inclusion Strategy, which aims to further promote equal opportunities for the LGBT*IQ community with concrete measures and objectives. These measures include raising awareness among managers, expanding the network, collecting data on the needs of LGBT*IQ employees, providing educational opportunities and increasing visibility through role models.
In order to provide employees with these learning experiences, workshops, discussion panels and other events were offered throughout June – including across national borders – thus living up to Shine’s title of “Global Leader”.
sustainability AWARD:
pride+ von hogan lovells
At Hogan Lovells, diversity and inclusion are seen as a strategic priority at all international locations, as evidenced by policies on discrimination that protect all LGBT*IQ identities and a separate gender pronoun policy. In the six years since its creation, Pride+ has set itself the task of training all employees and managers on unconcious bias and integrating the topic of LGBT*IQ into recruitment processes. In Germany itself, a recommendation on gender-neutral language in the workplace has also been in place for two years, which is reinforced in the long term through repeated training.
X has developed into a platform on which racist, queer- and trans-hostile, anti-Semitic as well as other misanthropic content is becoming more and more widespread. This content is not deleted or prosecuted. Instead, since Elon Musk took over, words like “cis” or “cisgender” are considered offensive.
Musk bought Twitter in October 2022 for 44 billion US dollars and has since laid off more than half of all employees. Instead, he introduced a subscription model in which users receive the blue verification tick in exchange for a monthly or annual payment. Thanks to this, profiles that spread discriminatory content reach an even wider audience.
PROUT AT WORK rejects any form of discrimination and advocates for LGBT*IQ equal opportunities. The foundation creates inclusive spaces where discrimination and prejudice have no place. Therefore, remaining at X is no longer justifiable for PROUT AT WORK.
The PROUT AT WORK Foundation joins the German Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency, the German Trans* Association, the German Society for Transidentity and Intersexuality and many other associations and organizations to set a sign against hate and for diversity.
“Our exit from X is a clear signal to the public that we do not tolerate hate speech. We want to encourage other organizations to take this step as well and end their presence on X,” said Albert Kehrer, CEO of the PROUT AT WORK Foundation. “Platforms and social media need to be aware of their responsibility and take effective measures to combat anti-human speech and discrimination and protect marginalized groups.”
IInterested people can still find PROUT AT WORK on the social networks Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.
Today is #InternationalPronounsDay! This day takes place annually on the third Wednesday in October and is dedicated to the topic of personal pronouns.
Especially for people who do not identify as (strictly) male or female, but for example as genderfluid or non-binary, pronouns can be important to express their gender identity.
In this context, a person’s appearance says nothing about the pronouns that person uses. That’s why it’s always important to ask about the pronouns!
Many LGBT*IQ people use neopronouns to distance themselves from binary gender thinking and feel comfortable in their identities.
Mentioning one’s own pronouns can help to free oneself from stereotypical binary thought patterns and contribute to sensitization in our society. Not every person necessarily uses the pronouns “he” or “she,” and it is important to treat these people with respect.
A study by the Trevor Project confirms that non-binary youth are more likely to struggle with mental health issues than cis youth. In other words:
Addressing the issue and being mindful of how people want to be addressed can save lives.
Pronouns in the Workplace:
Visibly placing your pronouns shows support and helps avoid misunderstandings.
You can place your pronouns…
- … in the e-mail signature
- … in Microsoft Teams
- … in Zoom
- … at the physical desk by sticker or name tag
- … etc.
Gender neutral pronouns – examples:
They/Them
They are on the phone right now.
This is their desk.
The presentation was created by them.
The parcel is for them.
No pronouns
Anouk is on the phone right now.
This is Anouk’s desk.
The presentation was created by Anouk.
The parcel is for Anouk.
MYSTORY with …
alex
34 Years, fRANKFURT
“It was Black trans* women who educated me about
our community’s history and present, the privilege
of being queer in Europe and about the long
way we have to go to eradicate discrimination…”
Published: September 2023
Privileges, Education & Coming outs.
I struggled to sit down and write this. It often feels like I don’t have something meaningful to share, but when it comes to my coming out story, it also feels like it was just super uneventful. It is a super privileged position unavailable to many members of our community who have to fear for their safety if they come out. I wish for all members of our LGBTQIA2S+ community to have uneventful coming outs and possibly even no need at all for coming out in the future.
When I was 15 years old, I realized I was bi. I cared more about Xena, Warrior Princess and her soulmate situation with Gabrielle than I did about whatever straight girls my age were supposed to care about. I was attracted to men and women and didn’t know at the time that the gender spectrum held many more beautiful expressions.
Today, I would describe myself as pan or omni if we must have a label – to me, I’m simply queer.
I’m not attracted to only one gender identity. I just didn’t know because there wasn’t a lot of queer representation back in 2003.The L Word came out in 2004, and while it hasn’t aged well and is not a great example of an intersectional approach, it changed my world at the time, as did The L Word podcast.
I told my mom very soon and it wasn’t a big deal. Mostly because she’s super tolerant, but also because it probably didn’t feel real. I’d never had a boyfriend or girlfriend when I lived at home.
But I must have been worried about her reaction because I kept my first girlfriend a secret. I like to think that this wasn’t just because of her gender but also because we met online, had not met in person as there was an ocean between us and I associated the whole situation with shame. I was 19 and left Germany to move in with my Canadian girlfriend in Brighton, a queer hotspot in Europe. We broke up after 6 months, and I think to this day, most of my family and friends thought she was a roommate. My second relationship was with a man. No coming out needed there, everyone knew him as my boyfriend.
The queer community remained a fixture in my life. Most of my friends and housemates were queer, I had fallen in love with the art of drag and went to every show that I could. I owe a lot to the queer community; they have helped me overcome whatever was holding me back from normalizing my own queerness while I was celebrating everyone else’s. They have shown me how to accept myself, how to fight for my community, how to exist in a world that assumed everyone is straight. It was black trans* women who educated me about our community’s history and present, the privilege of being queer in Europe, in a queer city, and about the long way we have to go to eradicate discrimination for ALL the beautiful members of our community who face violence and discrimination for simply living the life they were born to live. I was an ignorant 20-year-old and have been educated by their kindness and their fights. I wish I could say that I educated myself – I did, in later years – but that initial education was done by the people most marginalized in our society, and I owe them so much. I became an activist for queer and women’s rights and continue learning to this day. Although there is still a long way to go, one of the biggest achievements of our community is this: An elder trans* woman (she allowed me to say that) said to me last year, “Finally, trans* people can have a future! When I grew up, there simply was no representation and only the threat of dying young. I didn’t know I would be happy; that simply wasn’t in the cards. Today, trans* kids can see a future; we have trans* actors and actresses, athletes, politicians, ordinary couples who are happy.” That being said, we both agree that a lot remains to be done to ensure a safe future for trans* kids and adults.
I met the woman who would become my wife in 2012. We were colleagues first and then close friends for years before our friendship turned into love. It seems to be an unwritten rule that whenever two women are colleagues, not married, and hang out, they must have an affair. At least that was the rumour at work long before we developed romantic feelings for each other. I remember when we went to the cinema, it was the hot topic at work in certain gossip circles for a whole week. Sometimes rumors got back to me about sightings of us doing suspicious things like drinking coffee and sometimes these rumors were even completely made-up.
People were talking about us being together long before we were together, so when we started dating, we didn’t tell anyone but two friends at work. We just “were.”
Same with my mom. She immediately clocked that we were together, and that was that. I just walked through the world, normalizing the fact that I had a girlfriend who then became my wife, and most people respond in kind. I’ve been privileged enough to be working at a diversity-aware company when I fell in love with her, and when I switched companies, I was in senior enough positions that people did not dare to comment anything homophobic to my face. I’m not ignorant though; I’m aware it happened behind my back. I’m aware it happens to others, and I know that homophobia still is rampant in the workplace and our society. After years of remarkable progress for queer rights (which are, fundamentally, human rights), we find ourselves confronted with a historic backlash that threatens to roll back the hard-fought gains of decades, not just in terms of legal protections but also in public perception.
It is a critical moment for LGBTQIA2S+ communities and their allies, demanding swift action and unwavering solidarity.
There it goes. My Coming Out is not a very interesting story. In fact, a lot of what’s interesting is between the lines: about my own internalized stuff, stuff I had to unlearn, and things about which I was completely and utterly wrong. Like when I assumed my until-then 100% straight girlfriend would only treat “us” as an experiment, that she would never tell her family about us, that this new experience would shake her self-image to the point where she’d run. Or that she would have difficulty adjusting to a relationship after being single for 16 years and wouldn’t be able to make space for me. That it wouldn’t last.
We’ve been together for 100 months in July 2023, married for 4 years. She still doesn’t know how to load the dishwasher like a human being, but other than that, we’re fine.
Attacks against our community are increasing on a global scale. Merely celebrating the few rights and limited acceptance that gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals have achieved is not enough. The TIN* community is far from experiencing the same rights and acceptance. We must continue fighting until discrimination against queer BIPOC, queer people with disabilities, LGBTQIA2S+ migrants, and especially discrimination against our trans and non-binary siblings is eradicated. We cannot settle for mere awareness and visibility. Society is aware of us; what we need is equal protection, respect, and opportunities that should be extended to everyone within our global community.
(Note: *TIN refers to the transgender, intersex, and non-binary community)